A Conspiracy of Squirrels

Shhh…

Did you hear that?

On the roof.

Something is afoot (or maybe a-paw).

I believe the squirrels are conspiring.

I wrote a post a few years ago about the clever mammal, the squirrel. You can read my post, My Enemy is a Varmint!  and you’ll see, the plot is real. I’ve been tracking the conspiracy for years. I’ve, still, never tasted a pecan from my trees. I admitted defeat in that battle with the squirrels.

But now, I think it’s more than just a few cute rodents in the neighborhood. I see the charming bright-eyed, bushy-tailed thugs forming groups on the corner. They’re eying me when I go out to run. I don’t speak their language, so I’m not sure what they’re saying, but I see ‘the look‘ they’re giving me.

THOSE ARE NOT FRIENDLY FACES

They’re up to something.

At night, I hear soft, padded feet scampering across my roof. They choose to congregate at my house. The colonies are combining into unruly mobs. Their numbers are growing. I’m not sure the pecan trees in town are enough to keep them fed, and their tiny little legs can’t move them the ten plus miles to the next, nearest town. The route is rough, desolate, and treeless- a squirrel’s biggest nightmare.

Here’s the conspiracy as I see it.

The squirrels are coming after us.

I know what you’re thinking.

Squirrels are herbivores.

Right?

Wrong!

I’ve done the research. Squirrels need protein in their diet. They’ve been known to eat birds and snakes. There’s a documented case of a squirrel eating a chicken. These smart little guys outnumber us exponentially. What mayhem could they start if they banded together?

Right?

We’ve had a rash of missing dogs in our town.

We could be next.

When you’re at the park, keep your eyes on your small children.

This is a warning.

Beware.

You might think I’m crazy, but, yesterday, I saw this one gathering weapons.

Just a little silliness today. I’m short on time. I added the picture below to show that squirrels really aren’t all bad!

4 comments

    • That’s awful. I was looking at my ripening pecans yesterday. It won’t be long until the squirrels strip my trees. Oh well. Thanks for reading.

      Like

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