I’m 100% Sure it Can’t be 2012

And how is it that I know it isn’t 2012?  Easy, twelve years couldn’t have passed since the whole Y2K scare.  It’s seems like just yesterday I was storing bottles of water and canned goods in the garage.  We were told when the clocks rang in the new millennium, stores would close because of computer malfunctions.  I stored extra toilet paper in every closet.  Actually I still hoard toilet paper.  I think it’s because of mom and the  scare started by Johnny Carson in 1973. Check out this link for more information if you’re not familiar with this humorous over-reaction.  It may remind you of the Y2K thing.  http://thelongestlistofthelongeststuffatthelongestdomainnameatlonglast.com/trivia74.html

English: The Logo Created by The President's C...

I remember 2006, 2009 and 2011 because I had children graduate from high school.  2010 happened because one finished college.  I’ll concede at least four years have passed.  And in the early 2000’s I may have lost a couple of years and, to answer your question, no,  alcohol wasn’t involved.  I lost the first year to what I call the ‘Twelve Month Sugar Fog’.   I made a New Year’s resolution to lose weight. As I’ve stated before, I’m not good with the pressure of resolutions.   I told myself I’d start a diet when the Christmas candy was gone and then the Valentine candy and then the Easter candy and then the ‘end of the year school party’ candy and then the ‘summer visiting grandparents’ candy and then the school lunch candy and then the Halloween candy, and, before I knew it we were back to Christmas.  Again, I was in a fog most of the time and, yes, you’re correct in assuming I’m not above stealing chocolate from my children.

As I came down from my sugar high, I rolled into the next year.  I call it  the ‘Fast of Guilt Year’.  The extreme loss of calories and a lack of sugar flowing through my veins kept me in a daze the whole year.  But it had to be done  after the ‘Sugar Fog’ fiasco.  I survived on diet coke and yogurt during the fast.  I don’t remember much more.  I lost weight but I also nearly lost my mind.  Some reading this post might say I did lose my mind.

The Time Thief by Zak Ové
The Time Thief by Zak Ove' Image by ana gasston via Flickr

If you’re keeping up, I will agree, six years have possibly passed.  I’ll go seven for good measure, but twelve- no way.  I’ve read a lot about conspiracies lately and I think we are victims of the 2000 Time Conspiracy.  After seeing the image above, it all came together.  A Time Thief is stealing our minutes and seconds.  Every night when we sleep, he takes an hour or two.  It explains why we wake up tired even when we think we got a full night’s sleep.  I bet it’s happened to you.

And how many times have you said, “Where did the day go?”  Bingo-Time Thief.

Sometimes when your driving, don’t you look up and twenty miles have passed and you have daydreamed right through them?  That doesn’t sound safe, does it?  It’s easy to do if you live  in Texas. The roads are long and flat and the towns are miles and miles apart.  (Note-if any Texas DPS officers read this, remember, I’m a writer, I make this stuff up.)  Everyone else, in largely populated areas, it happens.  I think the Time Thief is involved.

Now I can’t explain how this Time Thief has coordinated all of this and why we all still stay on the same calendar but there’s something happening here.  We need to stop his shenanigans now.  It’s going to be 2025 in the blink of an eye.  Do  you know how old I’ll be in 2025? This has to stop.

Signed- An Empty Nester with Too Much Time (or not enough) on Her Hands

46 comments

  1. Awesome post…And so true. Now I at least know who has been making my life go by so fast these past 12 years. I remember being in high school and thinking how “old” I would be in the year 2000 (34). Now I look back and say, wow, I was so young in 2000. LOL

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  2. Ha ha ! Y2K brings back hilarious memories of how corporations reacted, or over-reacted. Doomsday scenarios of fire, riots, civil disobedience, tsunami (yes, tsunami….apparently the BIG computer would malfunction as well), as sold to our gullible organisation by our extremely wealthy (now) Y2K consultant.

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  3. I’m sorry that I didn’t drop by earlier as I see that not only are we both empty nesters, but we also share fears about running out of squares! I’m looking forward to seeing more of you!

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  4. I really never gave it much thought, I do realize time fly’s but to say it has been stolen rather than wasted is possible. I use to like it when time flew by. but now that I am no longer on a time demand of my time. I need to learn to savor them moments. And I no longer fall pry to the scare tactics. I also wonder who sits back and laughs at the world when the past events did not happen as predicted.

    Sorry it has taken so long for me to visit.

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  5. The last 12 years and the mirror thing are so true. Since 2012 began, my week has only two days: Sundays and Wednesdays so the time thief is working overtime here. I get up and it’s Sunday; I turn around and it’s already Wednesday.

    Speaking of time, last Sunday I realized I’ve lost 40 years somewhere. Got to have coffee with my first heart throb after 40 years (can’t even COUNT that high) this past Sunday. Holy Moley. I found myself in a time WARP!

    Great post. I almost fell off my chair (I was going to say wet myself) but I don’t know you very well) LOL

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  6. Y2k! The good old days when the biggest fear we had was that our computers would break down and we’d either get a week off work or double over time for trying to fix it. Good times. Thanks for the reminder!

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  7. Loved this post! Loved it! You had me smiling at the title, grinning at the Y2K scare (which I CAN remember) and by the end, since I spent a year of my life 12 years ago in TX (I’d swear you every oath there is, that it was only like 8 years ago max btw – time thief? I think you’re on to something!), I was full out laughing!

    Thank you for this!

    🙂 K.

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  8. the time thief has done a number on a lot of people! i can’t even believe it is already january 11. or that i am as old as i am. why does time pass so quickly, yet the work day seems ENDLESS?! argh.

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    • Good point. The work day can seem endless. If I’m waiting for one of my children to call and let me know they are safely at a destination, that sometimes feels like a lifetime. But the last twelve years passing really does seem impossible.

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  9. Totally agree. I think the time thief is more active with some people, though. I got lost sometime before the century turned. I’m still stuck with having to remind myself that the year does NOT begin with the numerals ‘1’ and ‘9’. And, to make matters even scarier, in those non-existent 12 years, five of my six children married and had (nearly) 12 grandchildren. Where am I?

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  10. happy new year. first time to hear the passing of time as time thief. me thinks it’s brilliant. it’s interesting how y2k has gone and now 2012 end of the world is all the rage. it can really be crazy. let’s just keep it together though!

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  11. Hahaha! Great post!
    I still have a few bottles of water (how long do they last, anyway??) in my basement.
    But I agree with you; time is absolutely NOT passing as quickly as those damn fake calendars would have us think…..
    No Way.

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  12. Alot of time has flown by, goodness. I actually thought my husband was the only one preparing for Y2K. You would not BELIEVE what we stored up. I look back and really hoot. Hard to believe daughter graduated, bought a house and is self sufficient. Time does fly! Debi

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    • You must be so proud. I have one on his own and two in college. In 2000, I had three at home still buying into the whole ‘mom knows best’ thing. What a difference 12 (or maybe less) years can make.

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  13. i agree time flies! but at my house we are sooo over the y2k thing, and now focused (or obsessed as in the case of my daughter) on the end of the world this year according to the 2012 mayan calendar. LOL 🙂

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    • That’s so funny. My oldest son is there too. I really had’t thought about Y2K until a friend mentioned and I couldn’t come to terms with the whole twelve years. Hence, the post. Thank you for stopping by.

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  14. I’m following you pretty well on the time thief thing until I look in the mirror and see what the passage of time has done to me…
    anyhooo….
    thanks so much for dropping in on the tormented scribe

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  15. Oh, yes, I remember the Y2K craziness.

    I had a friend, who 5 years after the event was still using up supplies she had stockpiled. She had a bar on her front door to keep people from breaking into her house (her windows were unbarred, however), and she got a dog from the pound and called it MIlly. Milly was a very friendly dog as it turns out and would not have stopped any intruders.

    Humans are just crazy creatures.

    Takes for the moment to remember.

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    • My mom had rolls and rolls of toilet paper. We were not going to get caught with our pants down (so to speak). Thanks for reading. I think I was reading your blog as you were reading mine.

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